And you can’t go…it makes you feel a bit lost.
I’ve been trying really hard to follow recommendations after surgery. All my doctor said was to return to activity as I felt able, not to lift more than 10 pounds, and to “take it easy for a while”. He warned me I’d be significantly more tired, and he wasn’t kidding-I’ve taken a nap every day, sometimes two. My sides start burning if I do “too much” in a day. And on some occasions, I get sick (no fun with healing incisions). But it’s a struggle, mentally. I am not good at sitting still. And as a result, I’ve done it but it’s been like a different kind of marathon. I’ve never felt more out of shape, acutely aware I’m carrying some extra weight, and unable to do anything about it in my life.
This week, I’m going to try to get back to work. I went in for a few hours Friday before a few things upset me and the ache in my belly told me it was time to head home. I’m sure I’ll have to do some half days for a while, but it will be good to get to some sense of routine. And not the routine where I wake up when I feel like it, eat some breakfast and bum around online for a few hours before my first nap. Actual routine. Eating my regular meals and snacks, and not just whatever food I feel like. I’ve been looking up some more good crock pot recipes to try this week that will make both Jeff and I happy-I think we’re going to try this chicken tortilla soup recipe next.
Getting better isn’t easy-it’s not like I can just will myself to be completely healed from a major surgery. But I’m doing what I can. It’s making me take time to appreciate what I can do, and to look forward to some goals for next year. I get to re-examine my eating patterns, and fix a few things to bring myself back to my happy weight. I’ve had to recognize that I’m not invincible, and that I need to take better care of myself so I am around for the people that care for me and that I care about. But within a few weeks, this will be all behind me and I will be able to reap the rewards-no more debilitating pain or yearly surgeries for this girl!