coffee table-my office for now.
So, I had my post op check up yesterday…it did not go well. It turns out I went back to work WAY too fast, and as a result, I’m not healing at a rate that’s satisfactory to my surgeon. SO, I’ve been sent home with instructions not to go back to work until the 30th. On the one hand, YAY, I’m being encouraged to sit around the house, wake up when I want, dawdle over some coffee and interwebs, and generally be a bum. Who doesn’t want an excuse, nay, a mandate, to stay inside during the arctic blast that is a Nebraska winter?
On the other hand…I’m not healing properly! I’m letting my small team down by making them carry my weight at work while I’m gone. And I’m not cleared to get back to workouts yet. So I guess bottom line is, there’s pros and cons here. But at the end of the day, it is what it is. Worrying about my weight, my team, or that dog hair tumbleweed floating across the floor isn’t going to change the fact that I’m not physically ready to work out yet, I can’t go back to work even if I wanted to (HR was pretty horrified I worked without clearance all last week), and I’m not allowed to run a vaccuum for like 4 more weeks. What’s the worst thing that can happen? My weight will stabilize as soon as I get back to my normal routine-hell, maybe complete inactivity followed by my normal levels of 2-a-day workouts will shock my system and break the plateau I’ve been stuck on. Work is slower this time of year anyway, and the bottom line is that it will be there when I get back. And I don’t think any of us will die if the house doesn’t pass white glove inspection for a few weeks.
I felt a good shock of guilt yesterday, because I feel like I should be able to be doing everything already. But, on my one trip to the yard for rec time (1 mile walk per day), I got a sense of calm about it. I’m never having a baby. That’s a fact. I will never grow a tiny science experiment in my stomach and watch it grow into a person. And don’t get me wrong, I’m OK with that. But then this mandated time off is, in effect, my “maternity leave”. Because although Jeff and I may adopt someday, right now there’s nobody else I need to take care of. So I need to take care of me.
So I’m trying! Recovery is a process. And because I like to present some of what’s going on in our kitchen, too, I present this week’s pinterest recipe: Beef & Broccoli Stir Fry!
My life isn’t very exciting these days, and when I do post I know I’m a bit whiny, so I’ve tried to pull back a bit so I’m not Debbie Downer in your blog feed. Once January rolls around, and I’m full speed ahead, there will be plenty of running posts, fun fresh recipes, and other random shenanigans. My boss at the Y just asked me to take on another class when I return-yay! I can’t wait to get back to real life, but for now-its time to resume knitting that baby blanket!