Roles and Rolls: Homonyms are Fun!

Hope everyone had a great weekend! I woke up this morning thinking about what a great weekend I had and how sad I was that it was over, which is an excellent sign. We did nearly “nothing” all weekend. Since my recent ban at the gym (which I am diligently working to have lifted, naturally), my weekend exercise consisted of stubbornly walking home from work in 20 degree temps on Friday. Then, nothing but crickets as far as breaking a sweat is concerned, unless napping under a heated blanket cranked to the max counts. There was some cooking, some knitting, and even a bit of cleaning. I’m still always secretly amazed every time Jeff and I spend multiple days entirely together and don’t once want to kill each other. High expectations for marriage, right? 

It got me thinking today about what role I play in our relationship. We high fived about teamwork yesterday after he took out the trash and I put the new liner back in the can. I do the majority (sorry honey, it’s true!) of the inside cleaning, and he does all the yard work. I sweep floors, he snowblows driveways. I do laundry, he cooks dinner. It works out well that way, and is SO different from the last relationship I had. I did both sides of these comparisons and he played a lot of video games, all while somehow convincing me that was how things worked. So I’m always surprised how normal things are between us! 

Jeff also likes to joke that he married his accountant AND social planner. My husband, the polygamist. But he’s totally right. I have a system for balancing our budget, and it works. We’re paying ahead on a few things, taking care of business, and still able to go out for a nice dinner every so often. I think it really comes down to how organized and OCD I can be about things. One summer growing up, I was determined to live on my own. My mom and brother (2 year old) followed me to college, because I went to school in the town where all her brothers and sisters lived too. Well, the summer after my freshman year I was determined to move back to the town I went to high school in, have my own apartment, and be a quasi-grown up. It was a DISASTER. I started out living with some guys I know-big, big mistake. Messes, parties, and people in and out of the house all the time sent me packing within the first month or two to a crappy apartment complex at the edge of town. I had a hard time finding the right horrible fast food job for me, and bounced around a bunch. People I thought were my friends stole my things, went joy riding in my car, and generally destroyed anything I tried to build up. As a result, when I moved home at the end of the summer, I was broke, both monetarily and mentally. I worked 40+ hours a week all through college and also maintained a full time course load. All my money was meticulously watched so that horrible mess I was in the summer before never happened again. I nested like crazy so when I moved out on my own, I’d have nice things, not just a bent futon and a tiny TV. How does this relate to our marriage? Jeff has to remind me to unclench and live a little every so often because I spend too much time pinching pennies and preparing for disaster. But that’s just another way we’re complementary to each other: I make sure he pays attention to things like due dates and savings accounts, and he lightens me up whenever the doom and gloom kick in. 

What about the second part of my homonym? I tried on New Years day to make cinnamon rolls. I failed. First we didn’t have the right flour, then I tried to be brilliant and convert some frozen dinner rolls to cinnamon rolls but didn’t let them rise enough the second time. Turned out not to matter, because Jeff woke up late and had to run out without breakfast to help some friends move a fridge, so my sad little dense rolls sat there untouched. I was trying to create a fun yearly tradition for us during the holidays-I also tried and failed pancakes on Christmas day. Guess I should stick to muffins or something. 

-What’s your role in your relationship? 

What does your partner bring to the table that you would be lost without? 

-Do you have any food based traditions in your family for the holidays that are not fraught with the potential for disaster? Or are you just that good? 


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