You’re better than me, I promise.

Having one of those halfway epiphany things and wanted to blab it to the world, of course. Isn’t that YOUR first instinct? So I’m hanging out at home after work, taking a bath and reading the People “Half Their Size” issue in the bathtub while I sip a glass of wine. Yes, some women really do that. Except instead of bubbles there’s just Duncan checking every 5 minutes to make sure the strange water thing didn’t swallow me up. But I digress. So I’m reading this  magazine about incredible people who have lost 120+ pounds. And instead of feeling proud of them, I start checking their weight and height. And then feeling discouraged because they’re all “better than me”. Seriously? Is that what the editors wanted me to get out of the article? Sadly, maybe. Seeing as there were so many ads for Jenny Craig, Nutrisystem, and Weight Watchers in there I lost count, it’s possible. But screw that. I worked out for 2 hours today. I came home exhausted, and probably crammed more calories in my face-hole than I absolutely needed to live on. These are choices I continue to make when push comes to shove, and then I beat myself up about them. I get that it’s human nature to want to be the best, to want to strive for perfection. But what is perfection? Because tonight, it was the steak Jeff made for me. It was also a perfect plank in yoga, some bitchin kettlebell swings, and the glass of Pinot Grigio I’m sipping right now. I’m balanced. I’m healthy. Some would already say I work out too much, but I’m not SKINNY. I always thought I wanted to be skinny, but I guess when push comes to shove I don’t have the drive for one smaller dress size. Because I’m healthy. I eat what I want, and I work out, and that seems to equate to a decent fitness level, a decent appetite, and a healthy ol’ butt. And I’m happy with all 3. 

Usually I share a workout during this time for y'all, but I feel this is vital to remember. Once I stopped comparing, I finally felt happy! #quotes #motivation

Now, I can’t say I’m not going to forget this a bunch more times in the future. I’ll compare myself again, feel bad about it, work out, and then eat like a trucker. Because that’s what I do. But if I can slowly, incrementally remove the comparisons from my brain, to say that would be a good thing would be putting it mildly. 

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11 thoughts on “You’re better than me, I promise.

  1. Fantastic and so true – I know that magazines want to inspire … actually they want to sell issues, and doing inspirational stuff sells. And they also need to sell ads, so interspersing weight loss ads with an inspiring story totally works.

    But it makes sense to go into self-judgment mode when reading those – because we are constantly evaluating ourselves as athletes – how is our training, fitness, eating, whatever. Are we ready for our next race/distance/challenge? So when we see a success story – we ask how WE are doing.

    But as you note – balance is the key! Be happy with the balance, and celebrate that!

    • Thanks! It’s SO hard to remember, but I think a year or so ago I would not have realized I’m being silly and beat myself up some more. I probably would have gone back to the gym. But balance is key, and I’m learning there’s so much more to life than just the sweat we create. Going back to the gym would have taken time away from being with my husband-just as important! You seem to have a really good balance yourself, and I admire that.

  2. I find myself doing this too! Especially when reading magazines (and even some blogs!)

    I remind myself that if I have to give up all the foodie pleasures I enjoy on occasion, then being that size where I have to be so restrictive isn’t for me.

    Bravo for finding your balance 🙂

    • I wish it hadn’t taken until I was in my mid thirties to realize that a healthy body is awesome, I could have skipped so much self-flagellation and enjoyed my dinners instead of feeling shame for feeling hunger. I’m slowly working to eliminate skewed media from my life-no more celebrity mags and E! news, and I’ve never been happier! Loving your blog lately, Meghan-glad I found it!

      • Well at least you got there, and now you get to promulgate that positivity. It probably took me until my early thirties to accept and really love my own body, even with the occasional dimple (not the kind in my cheeks; at least not the ones on my face). It also took a health scare to make me see what’s truly important: being healthy, not skinny, although often the two are linked. I would rather see someone a few pounds overweight though if those extra pounds come from good quality food.
        I’m happy you found me too; it’s nice not to be the only thirty something (we don’t have to elaborate on the something 😉 ) food blogger out there. I hope you’re having a great weekend.

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