Runner-isms.

Yay long run day! I’ve been feeling mostly better from my knee pain-last week I cranked out 30 miles, and if today goes as planned I’ll hit 30 again. I’ve never been this consistent, this focused, and this excited to run. It’s really feeling good, although I’ll admit my legs are sore today after yesterday’s boot camp followed by 5 miles. I got on the treadmill after I taught class and just couldn’t bring myself to hit go. It was 32 outside-kind of my in between temp. I decided to throw on my sweatshirt and just hit the path outside instead. My bum and legs were super cold when I got done, but I think it still went better than it would have if I stayed indoors. I have my first race of the season Saturday, a leprechaun themed 10k. Hoping to at least beat last year’s time-and score another awesome tshirt. Seriously, this race’s gear is SO SOFT. Pretty much the reason I decided to do it again. 

Anyway, a friend of mine posted this list of runner translations, and it made me laugh. 

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Below is a guide to common phrases used by runners—and the true meanings behind the expressions. You could call it a Google Translate of sorts. You know, for the running crowd. 

“So, what pace are you hoping to run?”
Translation: “Are you competition?” 

“Oh, you’re from around here? What school did you go to? What year did you graduate?”
Translation: “Are you in my age group?” 

“Me too!”
Translation: “You’re in my age group and I hate you.” 

“So, what’s your PR?”
Translation: “I’m comparing myself to you, and suddenly my confidence in my own ability is somehow related to your best time.” 

“Wow! That is really fast.”
Translation: “I didn’t think you were that fast.” 

“Wow! That’s awesome.”
Translation: “I thought you were faster.” 

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“My training hasn’t been great.”
Translation: “Training has been my life for the past eighteen weeks.” 

“I’m just hoping to finish.”
Translation: “I will PR or die.” 

“Nice to meet you! Good luck!”
Translation: “My new goal in life is to beat you in this race.” 

“I’ll try to hang with you as long as I can.”
Translation: “I will drive you into the ground.” 
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“I hit the wall hard. I don’t think I fueled properly.”
Translation: “I went out too fast.” 

“I don’t know what happened.”
Translation: “I went out too fast.” 

“I was on pace for the first twenty miles, but then I hit the wall. Training wasn’t great. I’ve been battling an injury. And I just got over being sick. Guess it all caught up to me.”
Translation: “I went out too fast.” 
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“I’m just running this race for fun.”
Translation: “My eternal happiness hinges on the outcome of this race.” 

“Yeah, I did twenty this morning.”
Translation: “Can you believe I just ran twenty freakin’ miles? I’m amazing.” 

“I’m starving!”
Translation: “I’m hungry because I just ran twenty freakin’ miles. I’m amazing.” 

“My hamstrings got a little tight.”
Translation: “I’ve lost the ability to bend at the waist.” 
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“My Achilles has been acting up lately.”
Translation: “About ten weeks ago, I blew out my Achilles, but I’m still running on it.” 

“I took some time off to let it heal.”
Translation: “I didn’t run last Thursday.” 

“Yeah, I’ll get it looked at after the race.”
Translation: “I will wait for it to go away on its own.” 
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“Yeah, I should probably see a doctor.”
Translation: “I will not see a doctor.” 

“I get irritable if I don’t run.”
Translation: “If I don’t run, I may or may not become homicidal.” 

“Yeah, I enjoy running.”
Translation: “Let’s hope I never have to choose between running and my firstborn.” 

“You run, too? That’s awesome. What distances do you like to race?”
Translation: “I sense a potential threat to my age group/gender placement.” 
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“That’s right at my pace!”
Translation: “It’s on, buddy. Bring it.” 

“I’m not training for anything right now.”
Translation: “I’m always training.” 

“Today was a recovery run, so I didn’t even pay attention to pace.”
Translation: “I know exactly how slow I ran, but I refuse to tell you because it is not representative of my ability.” 
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“Today is a light day, so I’m probably going to run six or eight.”
Translation: “I’m going to run six miles. But I usually run further. Why couldn’t you have asked me how far I ran yesterday after my long run?” 

“The race went really well. I felt good.”
Translation: “I had the race of my life. Please ask for details. I want to tell you how awesome I am.” 

“The race didn’t go well. But it happens, you know?”
Translation: “No, you don’t know. You will never, ever be able to comprehend how awful it was. I cried. I puked. I walked. I had diarrhea. My body hates me. The sport hates me. The world hates me. I trained for four months for this? WHY ME? WHY? 

“I think I just need to take a break from training for a while.”
Translation: “I’ve already signed up for my next race.”
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“It was really hot.”
Translation: “You don’t understand how hot it was.” 

“It was really windy.”
Translation: “You don’t understand how windy it was.” 

“It was really hilly.”
Translation: “You don’t understand how hilly it was.” 
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“I pushed hard the last two hundred meters. I almost peed my pants!”
Translation: “I totally peed my pants.” 

“Yes, we should meet up for coffee tomorrow morning!’
Translation: “After I run.” 

“Yes, let’s take the kids to the zoo on Saturday!”
Translation: “After I run.” 

“I need to pick up some more GU.”
Translation: “I’m one gel packet away from an episode of Hoarders.” 

“….point two. Twenty-six point two.”
Translation: “Seriously. Forget the ‘point two’ one more time, and I’ll be forced to punch you.”

*Anyone else have another runner-ism I forgot? What’s your long run this week? 

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14 thoughts on “Runner-isms.

  1. Haha, these are great. Hey, do you know where the pic of the trail with the painted yellow dots and the trees on either side is from? It looks EXACTLY like part of a really popular trail here in Dallas that I like to run at.

  2. You know it’s funny I’ve been stuck in the treadmill rut with so many other people this Winter — but I’ve been lucky enough to get out on the streets again lately and it has amazed me how mentally strong I’m becoming. My legs are struggling a bit with the transition, but I’m moving forward and that’s all I care about.

    • It has been a rough winter for the outside runner! I’m sitting here right now waiting for it to warm up enough for me to go hit my 9 miler today…It was supposed to be about 10 degrees warmer by now! I need to get to running, move it along mother nature!

  3. OMG these are hilarious and oh so true. I also hate when people say that I run marathons when I just told them I do half marathons. I’m like, dude, I don’t want some marathoner over there judging me. HUGE difference.

  4. I totally love all of these! And the funny thing is how many of us would have rolled our eyes at hearing these when we weren’t race-runners, but totally say them now.

    My kids are constantly asking me on weekends to clarify what I mean by ‘a quick run’ – and lately my older son just asks ‘more or less than two hours’?

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