Wow, this week is a tough one! So far, each morning has been extremely difficult to get out of bed. I have this Friday off work, and I think the anticipation is really making the other days seem tougher in comparison.
Part of my problem is that last week, I got some tough news. Found out on Thursday (immediately after my 9 mile run btw…what a way to kill that endorphin high) that I was out of consideration for the wellness position at work. Given my credentials, they declined to even interview me or speak with me about the position. My friends and family are of course telling me not to take it personally, and I was aware that with a company of our size, competition would be fierce. But I’d really hoped to be able to present myself and explain why I was ready for the challenge. Work has been tough for me the last couple of years. I had been in the same position for so long I felt stagnant, and when I was encouraged to take a position in our data integration department, I did it. But I’m finding that although I get along great with my team, my personality and brain are maybe not the ideal fit for the job. Luckily, my boss seems happy with my work, but I can’t help but feel like I could do more. Use my talents. Really enjoy being at work instead of just watching the clock for the next time I get to eat.
I know that there are people out there that would kill to be in this position. That would kill have a job, period. And I get that I’m lucky. My job is making it possible for my husband to go back to school and pursue a lifelong dream of his, and I’m so glad to be able to help him do that. I am trying to make a conscious choice to appreciate my job for all the things it allows me to do, and the fact that I’m pretty happy with my life outside of work. It’s OK if I want to take a long lunch sometimes so I can squeeze my long run in during the day. There’s never a problem if I want to take a day off. The management is always asking what they can do to make me happy. I’ve got it pretty good, really-I just need my brain to make better sense of some of this tech-speak.
So, that’s my rambling attempt to make myself feel better for losing my dream job. Life will still go on, I will still run, and dinner will still be on the table tonight.