When I blog, I usually go on and on about what’s happening in my life. How many miles I ran this week (34), what weird thing we had for dinner this week (frogmere stew), or something odd our dogs did (Duncan went to the vet this week and I still have scratch marks all over my body as a result). But this time, I want feedback. It’s probably going to roll up to another blog post, but there’s something I can’t put my finger on rolling atound in my brain.
So, last week I came across this article. It was a post about the top 10 reasons people have children. The author polled her friends and then spent the entire article arguing against her friends reasons for having kids. I didn’t really get what she was trying to say. But it made ,me think about my own experiences. Shortly after my surgery, I joined a group on Facebook for women who were childless by choice. It made sense-I chose to get rid of my uterus, so of course it was my call! But these ladies were not just childless, they seemed to actively hate children. LIke, “why did they bring that drooling, obnoxious cry-monster in PUBLIC” bitter. So I dropped out of that group. Then there was a group of “childless support”. Tried that as a suggestion from my hysterectomy friends. And these people are all “how can people be so INSENSITIVE as to talk about their kids when I can’t have any???” and that’s not my crew either.
But I do wonder. So many people seem to firmly believe in the “kids are just what you do after you get married” school of thought. Clearly that’s not our gig. We’ve talked about adoption, but looking into it scared the crap out of me. Median price was $35,000! How on earth is that the median price to obtain something you’re going to spend another $200,000 over the course of your life taking care of? Well, it scared us away. I was of the mindset that if I were to adopt, I’d want to adopt a baby or toddler who wouldn’t be able to remember their life before us. Older kids scared me. All the horror stories of foster kids acting out, stealing, getting arrested, being destructive-hell, I freak out if there’s even a chance I left the front door slightly ajar so my dogs may escape, how the heck would I cope with a teenager living there?
So, friends, blog readers, random people searching for whatever I tag this post as, answer me this: what made you decide to have kids? What made you decide NOT to have kids? I”m not saying we’re going to decide the future of our family based on blog/Facebook poll, but I’m genuinely curious. So much of our last year has been focused on planning for a wedding, doing what’s medically necessary for me to be healthy, etc that I don’t really know the reasons most people actually take the plunge and have kids. So what led you to arguably one of the biggest decisions of your life? I promise, I am not going to be like the referenced author and argue against your reasons-they’re your own, and I’m genuinely curious.