Jeff’s on the phone with his mom, trying to hash out when we will have our Christmas with them. And it got me to thinking…so here’s the result:
5 things that change when you get married:
1: Saturday Night:
single-lets get dressed up, leave home around 10, stay out till 230, and regret things the next day!
married-stretch pants, cheap wine, HBO Go.
single-MOMMY! Have me over and feed me and give me stuff.
married-well, if we do your family x day and move my family to y day…
single: well, this popcorn looks good…
married: what do you want? I dunno, what do you want? *hours pass, stalemate is won, dinner consumed*
single: king sized bed? Room for me, my dog, and my dog’s dog to sprawl out and crash!
married: *wife wakes up at 4 AM-you all are smothering me with your love! LITERALLY! Sighs and falls back asleep in fetal position. *
5: Watching TV:
single: project fashion survivor of the amazing race? Crime crime procedure funny time!
married: scans netflix. Scans netflix. Scans netflix. Settles on show we’ve both watched before. Both parties roll over and fall asleep.