It’s kind of an unrequited love. I mean, she doesn’t know about it or anything, but this kind of love really goes the distance. OK, but seriously. I settled in to my delightful warm bath after a long day of work and waiting for my doctor to call me back (even though HE NEVER DID AND I’M NOT BITTER) and cracked open my copy of “Yes, Please” by one Amy Poehler. I had not even made it through the foreward before I thought “I need to blog about this!”. Wisely, I decided to pare this down to 5 simple points.
1) The mention of how her parents double mortgaged their home twice to pay for her college tuition (and her brother’s) got me thinking…I don’t have kids, but I have thought about this before. It seems like a super duper giant leap of faith. I may be a big giant asshole, but I don’t think I could do that for my kids. And not because in this scenario I don’t love them and want them to succeed. But I remember how I was as an 18 year old starting college. I saw my little brother start college at 17. And the thought of myself being responsible for, conservatively, $10,000 a year for said young person to go to school just freaks me the crap out. I changed my major 5 times. And I was responsible about it! How the hell a parent trusts their child to make the right choices or is just OK with throwing money out there until they “find themselves” takes an extraordinary amount of faith in someone. I barely have that in myself or my husband, let alone an 19 year old who hasn’t experienced nearly enough of the world to know what they want to do with their life. And I’m pretty sure Amy’s on board with me on this-her suggestion that we start kids that age with what they *don’t* want to do and make their way towards their inevitable what they DO want to do makes good sense.
2) Treat that voice in your head that says mean things like it’s talking shit about your best friend. Genius! Hey, jerk, leave Laura alone! She knows her eyebrows are out of control and that she should really even out her skin tone with some makeup. She’ll do it when she has time and not a second sooner.
3) She suggested how awesome it is to spend your thirties without children. I wholeheartedly agree. Go have a decadent dinner at the restaurant everyone (or nobody) is talking about. Go for a vacation with your other childless friends. Learn that (painting, surfing, craft a freaking wreath) that you always wanted to, but thought was uncool in your twenties. Your thirties are for cautiously throwing a bit of your “give a damn” to the wind and trying things without fear that people will find you less cool because you’re a bomb ass knitter. Spoiler alert: they will probably just want you to make them a hat.
4) Decide your currency. In her world, that meant what she trades on as an actress-hot chick, nerdy chick, funny chick-and let go of what you will never be or have no interest in being. It’s easy to be convinced because that cool chick you met once does Iron Man Triathlons, that you should be THAT GIRL too, but if you can’t swim it may never happen. Once you embrace the thing about you that you love most and let go of the things you really aren’t interested in being, you’ll be happier for it. I’m sarcastic, I run a bunch, and I enjoy more TV than I should. OK, and wine. Those are my currency, and probably why you’re reading this blog. You don’t expect makeup tips from me. I won’t be giving a youtube tutorial on how to waterfall braid your hair. I probably can’t even tell you how to grow the best tomatoes (though Jeff could probably guest post on that for us). But I know that about myself, and even though sometimes I will dabble in all of those things in private, I will never claim they are my most authentic self and try to be known for such things. And you know what? I’m cool with that.
5) Lastly, and most important, she asked Betty White once what she most wanted to do after a taping of SNL. She replied that she was going home to “a vodka on the rocks and a cold hot dog”. Amen, sister. You get to that age, you know what you like. Yeah, I’m aware that my strange love for popcorn and Pinot Grigo isn’t all that common. You know what? Who cares. At the end of the day, I’m the one going home to those things, and I’m cool with them. Jeff’s cool with them. Your home is your happy place. I had a moment of “inspiration” tonight-usually after aforementioned bath ritual, I secretively dry my hair, straighten it or put it into a ponytail, and only then do I emerge. Tonight, I looked in the mirror and said “Jeff loves me. I love me. If I want to go write a blog instead of getting pretty to make dinner and go to bed, I think we’re all cool with it.”
And just because Jeff sat next to me as I wrote this and only twice asked what was for dinner, he wanted me to include a Ron Swanson gif for all my male readers. Yeah, both of you. Get a load of this: