Looking back at 2014, it was a great year. We made it through that allegedly rough first year of marriage with nary a fight between us. We weathered a surprise surgery, a boatload of running miles, a few random chafing injuries, and some hard learned truths about my 36 year old body. I thought putting my goals/resolutions/serious pipe dreams into cyberspace would make me more committed; I pretty much failed on all fronts. I DID make strides to stop the comparison trap, did grow some edible things, and took baby steps towards eating less chemical laden food. But biking a century, running a marathon, changing my look, and drinking more water? Didn’t happen. And so this year, I don’t want to set goals, resolutions, or anything that is measurable or tangible. Instead, I have a few hopes for the upcoming year.
1) Do LESS Multitasking. I tend to have scattered focus at home, at work, wherever. And it really detracts from my happiness. I see parts of a TV show while also facebooking or playing whatever game has my attention. I want to like what I’m watching. I want to spend more time with my husband while he cooks instead of heading to the couch to drink my wine instead. I want to create things with my spare time and not just waste it.
2) Engage in Conversation More. People at work in passing conversations ask how I am, I respond fine, we all go about our business. I tend to cut people off at the pass, or worse, answer without asking in return. And with coworkers these days? We all have facebook, there’s no reason for me to know about their life and not ask how they’re REALLY doing. There’s something for me to learn and to give in each interaction, it’s what I make of them that counts.
3) Embrace my Hermit-ness or Get Out There. I shame myself for preferring to stay home over most social invitations. Do I really value their comeraderie? Then go. Otherwise, quit beating yourself up. Your life is fine either way. I promise.
4) Help When You Can. Yeah, every damn ASPCA commercial gets me. Yes, I read an article about how it took 3 years for people to adopt Haitian Orphans and I can’t understand why. But reallly, start small. Make a difference whenever you can. Smile at people. Buy someone behind you a cup of coffee. Make a one time donation if you get a surprise bonus. I may not posess the means, motive, or even desire to change the world, but I can do little things. And if I question whether or not I SHOULD get involved…then the answer is probably yes.
5) Quit Apologizing. Accidentally walk into someone’s path? Oh, I’m sorry! Ask a question? I’m sorry but….You know what? Sorry I’m not sorry. And I don’t need to make like I am. I’m a 36 year old woman. I’ve seen some shit. You’ve seen some shit. We’ve been through things. Why do I feel the need to apologize for merely being in a doorway at the same time as you? I could blame a lot of things, but I’ll just stop it instead.
That’s my plan. No funny pictures, no smiling Laura, just me and some hopes. Do better. Be better. Act smarter. Think more. Not that hard to do in theory, we’ll see how I do in practice.
OK, I lied.