Shameless

Hi, I’m Laura, and I’m a TV snob. Hi, Laura!

It happens. I’ve giggled at people in the past for talking about a show fervently that I also watch, but peripherally in a “2 screens” situation (where you’re watching a show while also using a computer or surfing facebook from your phone. I’ve covertly watched shows and then removed them from my Hulu profile-it’s shared! I don’t want my husband and the 2 friends I share my password with to know I just binge watched “Little Women: LA”.

I will, however, acknowledge when a show somehow affects me. And tonight, I was watching “Parenthood” and it got all life and death poignant. Circle of life, one chick having a baby while her grandpa is dying in the hospital poignant. And normally that always seems like a plot device, but this show is pretty well written. There’s plenty of good actors on the show (OK, good actors and Dax Sheppard. Seriously, how did Ashton Kutcher’s bro from “Punked” end up here?), and it just seems really earnest and real. Anyway, it’s a good show, check it out, and it moved 1/3 of a bottle of wine Laura to post a love note to my best friend and how I need to squish her baby soon.

I’m keeping things brief tonight, because unfortunately the light from my computer screen is enough these days to keep my headache blaring. Yep, I posted a bit back that the dr thought I had viral encephalitis. Well, a neurologist visit, an MRI, and a look at my case study by some of the finest neurologists in the country (my bestie has connections, how about yours?) has left us scratching our heads. It is sounding like I’ll be scheduling a spinal tap in the near future. Awesome, right? Let’s turn my diagnostics up to 11! Hey, when I’m willing to let them stick a needle in my back, you know I’m truly in dire straights. And for all the amateur doctors in the house, let me recap what’s been going on since roughly Dec 8:

Headaches. I get migraines, and this is NOT that. Sometimes in my eye socket, some at my temples, some at the base of my head. Tonight, it feels like someone has inserted hooks into my brain at the temples and is trying to lift my brain out of my head. I’m classifying the light sensitivity I’m experiencing also in this category.

Vision/Eye issues. I have experienced redness so bad the checkout guy at the grocery store asked me if I partied hard the night before, blurred vision despite the recent eye exam 2 weeks ago, and twitching of the eye enough to drive me crazy. It sucks.

Dizziness. My coworkers must think I’m wasted half the time. These days, I’m always standing up and saying “whoa!” and grabbing the closest piece of stable furniture. Suck town.

Nausea. Sometimes, but not always, it comes with loss of appetite. This means some nights lately I’ve been having chex mix for dinner, some nights none at all (until I go to bed super early, wake up at 11 with a growling tummy, and eat a handful of baked cheetos), and on occasion I’m my normal self. This doesn’t help, seeing as I am mostly unable to work out lately because my brain is pounding the second I increase my blood pressure. I’m up 5 pounds in a month, people. Boo.

Aural Fixation. Yeah, I keep having a ringing in my ears, most of the time at night. What did you think I meant, perv?

Exhaustion. Some of this is the fact that often the only way to get rid of my headache is to lie down in a dark room, but I’m routinely going to bed at 8:30 these days. Weekend naps are stretching longer. I am suddenly a bigger fan of caffeine than I used to be.

So, our online diagnosis (Lyme disease or IHH), coupled with the doctor’s suggestion that if the MRI that I took didn’t yield an answer (all it said was that I had “white matter hyperintensities”) that I was looking at a spinal tap, means that I’m getting a needle straight in the back soon. Hey, it’s like the hyster sister’s epidural, right?

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5 thoughts on “Shameless

  1. Ugh – so sorry that things haven’t been resolved yet. Lisa’s neurologist had her doing a bunch of MRIs until we finally got tired of paying for them for no real good reason (nothing debilitating, just occasional ‘spells’).

    And yeah, the whole needle in spine thing is a blast. The upside of having kids at a teaching hospital is the place is crawling with over-enthusiastic young doctors … the downside is occasionally getting an anethesiologist who is more of a researcher than an in-OR person … and had no clue about positioning a hugely pregnant women to get a needle into her back … 😉

    There are definitely times we get ‘the feels’ watching TV shows. And that is great – it can be cathartic and awesome. For me there is no ‘guilty pleasure’ … I either watch it or not. 🙂

  2. Hi Laura, just discovered your blog and have started reading your posts. I live in Lincoln and after struggling with health issues I found a holistic doctor a little over a year and a half ago and was diagnosed with Hashimoto’s (hypothyroid autoimmune disease/ disorder), high cortisol/adrenal fatigue, hormonal imbalances, high mercury and styrene levels, “leaky gut”, low Vitamin D, etc, etc, etc. Right now even though I eat “healthy”, my cholesterol is high due to my thyroid not functioning and other things being “out of whack”, I have the gene mutation that causes me not to methylize B vitamins. What doctor(s) do you see or what tests have you done? I see Debbie Reynolds Hughes who is a holistic doctor and she has helped me tremendously. I still have a long road ahead of me to feeling my best and will deal with these issues all my life, but at least I went from feeling like I was dying and needing to be in bed all day long with a long list of symptoms (which is so unlike me) to having some hope and feeling like I can at least function enough to get through the day and keep up with my family. Like a said, I just found your blog, so I will keep reading and maybe you have mentioned some of the other issues who have experienced or treatments you have tried.. Good luck and my best advice to you is to listen to your own body and be your own advocate, be persistent and keep pushing for answers. My former doctor was thinking that antidepressants might be the best answer for me, gave in, tried them, made me feel so much worse, took myself off of them cold turkey, felt even worse and that experience may have been one of the contributing factors to developing my autoimmune disease.

    • Welcome, Katie! I am so sorry that you’ve felt that way. I’ve been there (obviously) and I know how hard it can be to question your sanity and health at every given turn. I’m glad you found a dr that listened! I kind of wanted to strangle Dr Bobenhouse after my third call back to them to find my MRI results!

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