Friends Without Benefits

I have never claimed to be cool. A month or two ago, my parents were texting me while they were out for the evening, trying to get me to join them, and I dug my heels in and cross stitched and baked while they were out dancing at a local ballroom. I’m just lame. And when I’m not acting like your grandma, I’m generally just behind the curve. I get into things like 5 years after they’re popular. We’re just now watching Game of Thrones. Good music? Pretty sure I’ve never heard of that cool indie band you’re talking about. Another example is Podcasts. I only got into them about a year ago, but now they’re a staple of my day. Yesterday, as I was completing some busywork to round out my Friday, I listened to this week’s “Why oh Why” and it got me thinking.


The host is a woman close in age to me who recently broke up with a boyfriend and is navigating the dating scene. Her frequent guest/foil is a guy she met at a bar who was good looking and charming at first blush, but has proven to be a misogynistic douche whom most listeners want to strangle. Myself included. He’s freaking terrible. But when she’s playing audio recordings of their conversation, it’s clear she actually somehow cares about this guy. Freaking Randy.

Everyone has “this guy” in their life. Whether it’s that guy you knew in High School, a friend you’ve lost touch with, or in some cases a family member. There’s people we feel a sense of obligation to. People we inexplicably love without always liking. Sometimes it’s situational-we shared a weirdly bonding experience years back that your hear won’t let you forget. Sometimes it’s a sense of duty-I love this person because nobody else does. But most of the time, there’s an x factor of friendship that keeps you hanging on long after your conscious brain would have you cut the cord.


Except I kinda can’t stand you. 

I tried to research this strange phenomenon. I did. But it led me to a pile of Buzzfeed articles about being friends with your ex. And this is more than that. Your ex is someone you’ve definitely shared enough history with to care about for the rest of your life. A Randy is not. And yet, some strange alchemy brought you together and keeps you there. I can think of a few people I knew in my late teens/early 20’s. We have NOTHING in common right now. And yet…if you pick on them I will defend them to the end. It’s loyalty. It’s life. It’s a strange sense of obligation you can’t really put into words.I hesitate to call them friends-I’ve got a whole different blog about people who you may not see or talk to very often, but who were friends once and whose opinions you value quite highly even though There’s some your lives and situations and interactions have changed. But a Randy is someone you just feel like you should love, even when you don’t like them. So, as I sit in my basement on a Saturday night about to crawl into bed at an early hour with my BFFs from Criminal Minds, I salute the strange bonds that create and maintain friendships. I’ve been terrible about maintaining actual, meaningful friendships over the last few years and I strive to be better about that. But at the same time, some girls I’ve known and loved for 20 years drove several hours in December just to support me at my first ever art show. That’s pretty freaking amazing. So cheers to you, girls. And cheers to my anonymous Randy, whomever you are. I’ll never tell.

Looooooved it!

Princess Daintypaws Hates Snow

It’s a magnificent day. There’s snow on the ground, pain in the air, and…oh, wait. Today’s a giant, sucky, pain in the @ss. But that’s OK. It’s been a lesson in adaptability. Too much snow for your dainty dog to go for his morning stroll without that icky feeling between his paws? Cut it short and do a YouTube workout video before work instead. Start a project at work that snowballs into a giant turdstorm? Sure. Roll with that. And then…go to the gym over lunch. For stress relief. And endorphins so you don’t kill people.


Workouts are like a box of chocolates; you never know what you’re going to get. So I hopped on the treadmill today with a tentative plan and vague hope. My lunches are shorter these days because my husband and I commute together in the winter, and he doesn’t have to be here as early as I do. So I *hoped* I’d be able to fit in 4 miles, but some time math as I changed told me it wouldn’t be likely. My runs started out like this when I got back in the saddle:

.4 mile run

.1 mile sprint

.1 mile walk

REPEAT as needed…or until the readout says you’ve covered 3 miles. It had variety, it had sprints, it had precious walk breaks. But I’ve been trying to stretch the run part and eliminate the sprint on occasion, and today was awesome! I ran .9, walked .1, and crushed that 4 miles in 36 mins flat. That means even with walk breaks I’m hitting a 9 minute mile. And I’ve only been back on the treadmill a few months! That was JUST the breath of fresh air I needed, because the “feels like -4” air outside just isn’t going to do it.

Now to finish the rest of this day, soak in a hot tub to stave off any muscle soreness from said wonderful run, and hit up Jeff’s BFF for dinner. Shrimp Scampi? Um, yeah, I’ll hit that. OH, yeah, I’m reading a pretty decent book right now: The Lost Girls of Rome. Kind of a more character based DaVinci Code kind of thing. Check it out if you need some basic literary popcorn!


I have no idea what’s happening here but there’s 2 of my favorite things so it can’t be all bad.

Fit Fresh & Fraudulent

So, a few weeks ago I was at a party with some friends I hadn’t seen in a while. Years, actually. Thank goodness for FB to keep us in touch. Anyway, one asked if I was still blogging, and mentioned she really enjoyed reading it. I told her, honestly, that I felt a bit fraudulent blogging under “Fit Fresh and Funny”. I mean, these days I mostly worry about FITting into my jeans instead of fitting in 30 miles a week. I question the viability of produce in our fridge for FRESHness instead of posting pics of my wonderfully healthful lunches. Funny? Well, that hasn’t changed-bad jokes then, bad jokes now.

I’m just a different person than I was when I was a “healthy living” blogger. I’ve started a moderately successful cross stitch business. I’ve been to Spain. I’ve rehabbed a bitch of a foot injury and I’m on the road to running again, knowing it’s not a good idea to go as hard as I did before and not wanting to take the risk for a change. I read a boatload of books. I listen to unpopular music and was beyond stoked to see Stevie Nicks & the Pretenders this Fall. I am branching out my cooking skills and regaining my baking game. I follow more corgis on Instagram than humans. Well, OK, that shouldn’t surprise anyone. But seriously-I don’t even know what the blog community is like anymore. I noticed that following all the blogs I read was a bit of a trigger to unhealthy ways for me that I haven’t read one in over a year. Is there a place for a technically fit but nowhere near visible abs girl in this world? Would people even care what I have to say anymore?


SO, do you feel curious, punk? DO YOU? I’ll probably talk a lot about how Foster and I are best friends. About how Jeff and I are in a heavy Ramen Noodle phase, but not the packaged kind. About how I ran today for 3 whole miles, so of course I’ll have another glass of wine. I mean, I could take over the world but that’d be a lot of work. So can I just have a tiny, 5 minute a week corner of your mind? Let me know if it’s worth giving this blog a facelift and another go!

It’s Like the Universe Doesn’t Trust Me

It’s been quite the week for me. Started off thinking I had a sprained ankle, found out I had 2 stress fractures and scheduled another surgery, my husband got really good news, and now today. Just when I thought this week was going to hand me a quiet Friday and I could just slink off into the weekend, I got the last piece of the puzzle.


OK, it really isn’t that bad but I so love sausage jokes

I had to let my boss at the gym know this week that obviously, I will not be hopping on a spin bike and thus can’t teach my spin class for a few weeks. Usually, it’s been cool since I had a backup that was always willing to help out and hold on to my class for me so when I was fit, I could pick right back up, maintain my 1 class/week status and keep my free membership! I loved that class, more for the chats we used to have as a group and the participants than anything else. She let me know that the gym is concerned that I have several times now come back too soon after an injury or surgery and re-injured myself. I can’t blame them, it’s accurate. But their decision is that I have to take 6 months off before we can even look to see if I can take a new class, new time, new platform.

It’s a bit like the universe doesn’t trust me to take care of myself, and had to completely remove every possible avenue I could have for re-injury. Geez, karma, I get it!

I’m going to try and see this as a good thing. I could join up as just a normal, civilian member after I’m cleared to return to the gym, but I don’t think I’m going to. If I keep talking about trying to de-prioritize fitness in my life, this will force me to put my money where my mouth is. Or, to keep my money in my pocket and find a way to stay fit without using a machine to do it. But I’ll admit I totally cried when I got off the phone. It’s a hard piece of info to swallow that basically my inability to take cues from my body basically cost me a job, quite a chunk of money in dr fees, and my mobility. Guess if that can’t convince me to slow down and enjoy  being active in real life, nothing can!

Final shoutout to all my friends enjoying their Spring Allergies in full force today. Our area has also had a ton of smoke rolling through in the last few days due to a controlled burn in Kansas, so it’s been all sneezey all the time. And I *may* have walked out the door with Foster the other morning and become convinced that my house was on fire.


get it away!



4 hours early Friday 5

I’m unexpectedly home alone tonight, so I thought I’d throw some words out into the internet and see what happens. We’ve got a boatload of things planned this weekend for Jeff’s birthday, so it’s *kinda* the calm before the storm. SO…………

1) We started our vegetable minions. No, really. We’re so stoked about the garden this year that we started some of our seeds. We’ve got a little indoor growing kit, a growing light above them and a heated pad below. Oh, yeah, and we get to convince every visitor to our house that we’re not growing weed. BUT the joke will be on everyone else when we have broccoli and you don’t!

2) I can always tell when I’ve entered “running season”. Yesterday, my treadmill run left me with BLOODY TOE. For those of you who aren’t as addicted to exercise as me, this is what happens when one toenail is a bit too long and cuts his neighbor like a crackhead robber. It looks much worse than it is, and honestly-the sting the next few workouts when sweat accumulates is far worse. So between my bloody toe of doom, the change in my gait that happens when I start running, and the fact that using my foam roller results in more cuss words than normal all signal one thing: Spring is coming!

3) It’s Jeff’s birthday this weekend. He’s in full beer brewing mode-he’s even entered contests and done fairly well. So I got him a set of beer glasses to replace my sad race-stamped tumblers he’s been resigned to. We’re going to some of the local breweries on Saturday and Sunday he’ll be making his own beer. His only request of me? To sit down and finally watch the blues brothers with him. He’s constantly appalled at my lack of movie knowledge-at least his movies. Most comedies I can quote by heart, but anything not explicity funny or for children, released from 1978-1994 I just haven’t seen. Mom was primarily a single mom most of my life, and then she married my stepdad. That man, he loved him some Dances With Wolves. So I started being the sulky teenager hiding in her room listening to Nirvana instead of watching movies with the family. Damn, I sure loved Clueless though.

4) My health issues are *almost* over! The whole eye business is done (I had a bitch of a corneal ulcer) without ANY permanent damage to my vision. I’m damn lucky there. I’m a bit worried about some gynecological symptoms which just shouldn’t be happening to a person with my medical history, but we’re keeping an eye on it and I refuse to call the dr until something MAJOR happens.

5) Work is actually kind of exciting for me these days. I’ve become a bit of a subject matter expert and have a new boss. That’s taking me way out of my comfort zone, but if I can prepare myself I’m going to have a great knowledge base for this and any career that I want in the field going forward. Bonus points? I get to use totally nerdy phrases in conversation. Something about using hacker tech speak just makes me feel like I should have on lots more leather and spikes! At the least it makes me feel like resourceful cat.

resourceful cat

Happy Almost Friday!